Shall Not the Judge of all the earth do what is just?

In the midst of yet another tragedy that has struck our campus, I must stop to ask the question we all wonder:

Where is God in all of this?

The answer is simple: He's right in the midst of it.

But what does this mean? When situations such as this arise, the cliches start flowing.

Oh, the Lord has a plan.
It's for a purpose.
God will be with you.
Etc.

But what comfort does this bring a person that has experienced tragedy first-hand? It very nearly does the opposite sometimes. People who are hurting, whether believers or not, are not interested in cliche "I-don't-know-what-else-to-say" expressions. They're asking the tough questions such as the one above.

How do we as believers move beyond the cliches and into Biblical truth?

Here's what the Lord is revealing to me: He's got a plan and purpose and is working for the good of those who love him.

Wait a second God. Hold the phone. Doesn't that sound exactly like the cliches I mentioned above??

The answer is yes, it most certainly does. But here's the best part: it doesn't stop there, in the emptiness of an expression that has no value. It goes one step further and actually points out the divine truth behind it all in a way that none but the Lord himself could describe it.

In sitting and discussing these issues with a friend, here's what the Lord brought to our attention: He is divinely orchestrating EVERYTHING.

And when I say everything, I really mean it.

1. I felt that this particular friend was the one I was supposed to call to talk things out.
2. She answered and needed a study break.

This is just one, miniscule example of the divine orchestration of the Lord. But here's a hard question that we all have to ask ourselves:

Will we choose to give him that much credit? Because if we give him that much credit, then it would seem that nothing we accomplish is by our doing.

But that's just it. Is anything by our doing? Or is the radical and relentless desire of the Lord to reveal himself to us ever present and ever moving in and around our lives?

So what, then, am I getting at here? How about this: He's got a plan and purpose in the midst of this tragedy (and any other tragedies) and is working for the good of those who love him.

All of the sudden the cliches are coming to life in a new and powerful way. Perhaps one individual, due to the tragedy, will cry for the first time in a year, therefore releasing all of the pent up emotions that have been crippling them. Still another may recognize the very real need of community and do their best to replicate what it should look like. Or perhaps yet another still has been ignoring God, yet in the midst of tragedy he has provided the opportunity for a holy argument to take place.

But wait, there's more.

Not only does he divinely orchestrate, but he divinely reveals. So to one that perhaps did not know the individuals involved , he urges them through pains in the stomach to pray that the community would not turn their face from him. Or to another he reveals the hope that is to come because of what has taken place.

Divine revelation. Yes please.

It's time we believe in the power of the Holy Spirit. That he is not only orchestrating, but he's revealing parts of himself that we would not have otherwise seen.

We will not ever understand why these things happen; nor should we waste our time dwelling on such things. We will never be satisfied with the conclusions that we come to. And as hard as it is to ponder, we have two options. Either we choose to believe that our knowledge is so incredibly limited in comparison to the Lord's and choose to believe that he will do what is good, or we turn our faces from him. It's high time we believe in the justness of God.

"Shall not the Judge of all the earth do what is just?" Genesis 18:25

Or that he's working for our good.

"For we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

Or that has a plan for our lives.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

No Room for a Complacent Heart

I've always entertained the question:

"What do they have that I don't?"

It wasn't necessarily a comparison question, though I did struggle with that for many years. More or less it was almost a frustration brewing within me. Perhaps it would be better phrased in this way:

"Why can't I have what they have?"

Yes, I was covetous. Still am when I allow the enemy to toy with my heart. I coveted their relationship with Jesus. It just came so naturally to them. Like second nature, they just seemed to be constantly in tune with the Spirit. Honestly, it was like a holy frustration.

So I found myself wondering, where do I go from here? Or better yet, how can I have what they have?

Well, the best (and perhaps most frustrating) thing that I have come to realize is that what they have has also been inside of me all along. Within a millisecond of creating us, we were filled with the glory of the Lord. It is inherent within us.

Isn't that why so many are constantly searching for the one thing that will make them ok? Or really even more than ok. Something that will fill them to the brim and maybe even make them overflow with joy? Laughter? Beauty?

I've had that all along. The problem came when I convinced myself that there was something I had to do, a certain way that I had to be, in order to obtain it. But isn't that the richest beauty of the gospel of Christ? That it is for EVERYONE? And it's freely given?

See, I think that my friends that I am referring to that just seem to have it figured out really do have it figured out. They are fully aware of the good work of the Lord within them, and the only reaction that makes sense to them is to just say yes. To step into agreement with the plan of the Most High King and simply say "I trust your plan. Here I am. Send me."

Oh that we would all realize who we truly are. Oh that we would dance. Oh that hearts would come fully alive.

Back at the Naz

Well, here I am back at the Naz, aka college for my SENIOR year. It's so crazy to think that this is it. This is my last year to leave a lasting mark on this campus. Scary.

So the question I'm wrestling with is what exactly it means to do so. How do I leave a legacy? Or as it was worded in one of our sessions: Who will follow me?

Every answer I come up with relative to my position as a student leader is filled with the best intentions, but will I follow through? As this school year closes and I'm walking down that platform at graduation, the questions I would like to consider are as follows:

Did I consider every single person, even my greatest enemy, better than myself?

Did I make sure that every single person on this campus knew that they were just as important and could make just as much a difference even if they didn't have a leadership position?

Did I maintain an overall positive attitude even when faced with situations that I may not have necessarily agreed with?

Did I represent Jesus in every way possible?


The list goes on. I could be a part of throwing the world's greatest event, but in the end, how does that benefit others aside from a potential night of great fun? I'm not sure why, but the quote from one of my all-time favorite movies The Sandlot comes to mind.

"Heroes get remembered, but legends never die."

It's not so much that I want to be recognized. Simply that I want to know that I've been the best representation of Christ that I can possibly be in the lives of those around me.

"We can do no great things, only small things with great love." -Mother Teresa

Do You Know the Way You Move Me?

"I'm not disappointed in you, I'm not angry with you, so don't turn your face from me, I'm in love with you......

Do you know the way you move me?"

I have never heard a more beautiful song in my life. I heard it for the first time last night, and I can't stop listening to it. It's so hard for me to listen to a song about the Lord speaking over ME and telling ME the way I move him. How often have I heard the message that the Lord is disappointed in us when we turn from him? I mean, I'm sure it makes him sad, but God is love, right?

All this time, I feel as though I've been stuck under this mentality that every time I screw up and the more I screw up, the Lord becomes increasingly disappointed in me. Which is CRAZY. I mean, I've grown up in the church, how is it that I don't realize how much he loves me?

He IS love. Though the dictionary can't be bothered to include the Lord in the definition, I know in my heart of hearts that He is the very definition of the word. They are one in the same.

This hasn't been the greatest season for me, but I have got to start calling out truth in my life and speaking out against the lies of the enemy that I will never be able to overcome the sin in my life. This journey is a process. But there is one unchanging constant: the Lord. He is with me through everything, Lord, why do I forget?

Break me.
Tear down these walls.
I desire raw God.
I desire intimacy.
I desire all of You.

New Adventures :)

It's been a while since my last post. I've just been working my life away and doing my best to find joy in the mundane, because even in the mundane, the Lord is as real as ever.

Just a quick update: Lately my prayer has been that the Lord would simply make me aware of Him. And man, did I not realize what that would look like! I can remember from while ago, the Lord gave me the word simple, as well as giving a friend of mine the same word to speak over me. And that's exactly how I'd describe my relationship with the Lord lately. Simple, but beautiful.



I have the opportunity to visit my best friend this summer. I myself am unable to raise the funds I need, because every last cent is going toward my last year at Mount Vernon Naz! But I so trust that if I am to be there, the Lord will see me through.

My friend is a staff member with Youth With a Mission- http://www.ywam.org/. She is currently serving at a base in Kona, Hawaii leading a DTS (Discipleship Training School) that will start in less than a week. YWAM has always been an interest of mine after I graduate, and it would be amazing to get a taste of what the ministry is like!

My need is right around $1,000 for a round-trip flight the first of second week of August just before I head back to school. The most helpful thing anyone could do would be to support me through prayer. I so believe in its power! :)

If anyone has any extra flyer miles lying around or would like to support me through a donation (though I am not asking specifically for that) that would be the richest blessing.

Thank you to all of you who took time out to read through this. God Bless you!! :)

In Christ,

Courtney

Spirit-filled Life

"Draw near to God and he WILL draw near to you." James 4:8

I wrote that late last night. Probably one of my new favorite verses given recent events. Which I will explain here if not for any other reason than to give glory to God and to remember today forever.

First of all, it was already a great day. I spent the day with my good pal Catie who had just gotten back from Ecuador. It was nice to just chill and practice my spanish a bit. I knew once she left I was going to be a total bum the rest of the day, and sure enough, once she left, I came back to my room and wanted to crash. But before I was going to, I wanted to get in a bit of time with THE greatest friend EVER-- Jesus.

So there I was, just sifting through the word, annnd....

BAM. The most uncontrollable laughter I've ever experienced in my life. At first I just assumed it was my extreme slumber that was making me laugh hysterically. But this wasn't a laughter like any other. It's kind of impossible to explain. All I know is, this was a laughing attack from the Holy Spirit himself. I found myself pacing the room, not being able to form any coherent words, let alone sentences, just grinning from ear to ear and chuckling at, well, nothing.

And it....was....AWESOME. I think the funniest part of the whole thing was that I couldn't help but wonder what people would think if they had seen me. I mean, I'm thinking it would have been an immediate admittance into the psych ward for me.

So... coincidence that I had written that verse the night before? I don't really think so. I'd actually forgotten about it for a while. And I mean, I believed it was true, but man. It's TRUE.

The other verse that came to mind was the one in 2 Corinthians 5:13 which reads"

"For if we are beside ourselves, it is for God; if we are in our right
mind, it is for you."

Mmmhmmm. That pretty much sums up how I was feeling. I've never experienced the Holy Spirit in such a tangible way. My insides are still groaning for the things of the Spirit. The feeling hasn't left me, even six hours later. I have never been more aware of the Lord in my entire life.

I literally felt as though God was more or less saying to me "Yes, I love you that much."

This is the beginning of amazing things. Taste and see that the Lord is good? Oh, I think I have.

"Jehova esta en medio de ti, poderoso, el salvara; se gozara sobre ti con
alegría; callara con amor; regocijara sobre ti con canciones."

"The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will
rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will
exult over you with loud singing." Zephaniah 3:17



Awaken hearts Lord. Glory to you and you alone.

Courtney

A veces, no me siento importante a personas. Pero como la puedo cambiar? Se que mis lamentaciones no las pueden fijar la situacion para mi. Pero estoy cansado.